


in an instant, in a second, a minute, an hour, everything could change

by Zisease



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and more fluff, Love, M/M, Panic Attacks, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7507285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zisease/pseuds/Zisease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were so good in that moment and the world hated them for it. Isn’t that how it always worked? Whenever things went well, some shit happened just to see it all go to hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in an instant, in a second, a minute, an hour, everything could change

 

 

“They have a love made for the movie screens.” “Their connection is unlike any I’ve ever seen before.” That’s what people would say about them, what they believed to be true. If only they knew what really happened behind closed doors, away from the public, when it was just the two of them. 

 

“Fuck Harry, can you pick up all your shit?” Louis scolded from their bedroom, well now it only belonged to him. Harry rolled his eyes and continued to play FIFA. He attempted to hide his snickers as Louis stomped around the room, cursing under his breath. Unfortunately for Harry, it didn’t go unnoticed by Louis. 

  
  


“Do you think this is funny?” Louis stormed into the living room. “God Harry,  you have the mindset of a 12 year old.”  Harry’s focus remained on the game, and nothing pissed Louis off more than being ignored. 

  
  


“Fuck, Harry,” he screamed, a saying that Harry had gotten used to hearing. “Fuck, Harry” after he had forgotten to go to the grocery store to pick up milk. “Fuck, Harry” after he had spilled his red wine all over their white carpet. And of course, “Fuckk Harry,” when, well you know when...

  
  


“Can you even hear me?” Louis continued ranting, “I swear you’re fucking brain dead sometimes, H.” Harry’s head popped up at that, and Louis immediately got red and started to apologize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” Louis said quietly. Harry just shook his head and said, “Fuck you L.” 

  
  


Ah yes… A relationship made for the movie screens.

It wasn’t always like this though. Believe it or not, at one point Louis and Harry did love each other. Alot. And truth be told, Harry still loved Louis...if only Louis loved him back. 

  
  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ The day was August 24th. Despite the pictures an August day may draw: sunny, blue skies, warm, it was anything but. The Gods seemed to have turned against them, the white clouds turning black. And hell, this was the day Harry wish he could go back to and change.  _

  
  


_ It started off like any other: Louis kissing Harry softly, nibbling on his jawline until he awoke. Harry’s eyes fluttering open to see Louis smiling warmly down at him. “Morning love,” and Harry would smile so big, because wow, he had this beautiful human who loved him just as he did. Louis would giggle, tugging on his hair. “Come on curly, breakfast time.” _

 

_ Harry stayed in a bed a bit longer, just to see Louis’ ass wiggle out of the room, his feet scampering softly across the tile floor. The clang of dishes and cracking of eggs could be heard, but what Harry loved the most was the way Louis sang along to the morning radio.  “Sunday morning rain is falling…” his soft, delicate voice was music to Harry’s ears. “This is how it should be for the rest of my life,” Harry thought, as he smiled faintly.   _

  
  


_ Louis popped his head in a minute later, “Any requests, love?”  _

_ “Well,” Harry started, but Louis cut him off. “Just kidding, we only have eggs, so you better like them,” he answered, cheekily.  “I like anything you give me,” Harry winked, and Louis laughed.  _

  
  


_ “Seriously H, come on and get out of bed,” he started to drag Harry out of bed. But Harry was much stronger, and while Louis tried, Harry easily pulled him on top of him.  _

  
  


_ “But can’t we stay in bed a little longer?” he asked while spreading kisses across Louis’ neck. Louis let out a little sigh of delight, “Hm.. I guess it wouldn’t kill us would it? The weather’s dreadful anyways,” and as if on cue, a rumble of thunder shook the house. The rain started to pour, splashing the windows, the lightning lit up the early morning sky.  _

  
  


_ Things were so good in that moment and the world hated them for it. Isn’t that how it always worked? Whenever things went well, some shit happened just to see it all go to hell. _

  
  


_ Harry and Louis were so caught up within each other, they barely heard the door knock.  _

  
  


_ “Was that the door?” Louis mumbled from on top of Harry.  _

_ “I think so.. Who the fuck goes out in weather like this?” He asked, while tossing Louis over so he could get the door. “Dammit, I swear if it’s one of the boys…” he trailed off, his voice getting softer to Louis’ ears as he made his way to the front of the house.  _

  
  


_ “Hell-oh , what the fuck are you doing here?” Harry’s voice suddenly became hard and almost anxious. Louis couldn’t make out the words the other person was saying, maybe a “I wanted to see you..?” No, that couldn’t be right. “I miss you..?” Nope, no way, Louis definitely didn’t hear any of those things… _

  
  


_ “I think you should go,” Harry said urgently, just as Louis emerged from the bedroom.  _

_ “Oh!” the dark-brown hair boy exclaimed in surprised. He took a look at Harry and then back to Louis. “So…this is Louis...” he drawled, “this is the twink you traded me for, huh?” he asked emphasizing  _ twink _. Harry didn’t say anything, but hell, God knows it would be a lie if anyone claimed he wasn’t about to shit his pants.  _

  
  


_ With Harry not saying anything, the boy whose name Louis still didn’t know, took a step inside their home and extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Elwood Fabre.” Louis raised an eyebrow, who the fuck was this kid? He smirked when Louis didn’t say anything or shake his hand. “I guess Harry hasn’t told you about me has he?” _

  
  


_ Louis shot a quick look at Harry who looked like he might just jump off the roof if it would save him from this situation. “No,” Louis said quickly, looking pointedly at Harry, “he hasn’t.”  _

  
  


_ Elwood’s smirk grew even more, “I…” he had started to say, before Harry cut him off.  _

_ “El,” he said, “I think it’s time you leave.” And no, it certainly was not a suggestion.  _

  
  


_ El… Louis thought, how the hell did the know each other, and what. the. Hell.  was going on? The two certainly had a history and Louis was the one being iced out.  _

  
  


_ Elwood knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere with either of them, so he smiled, and said, “I’ll see you around, eh?” and then shot a wink at Louis.  _

  
  


_ But just before he left for good he turned around and said, “You look good Haz, and red… what a great color on you.”  _

  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~  _

  
  
  


_ “Explain,” Louis said as soon as the door shut.  _

_ “Lou…” Harry said in almost a whisper.  _

  
  


_ “No, Harry, you can’t just ‘Lou’ me and be done with the conversation. We are talking about this Tell me what happened between you two.” And Harry looked at Louis like he was about to tell a little kid his dog died. _

  
  


_ “What happened?” Louis asked again.  _

_ “Don’t make me do this,” Harry said.  _

  
  


_ Louis was mad, fuck he was so mad, and he didn’t even know what Harry had done yet.  _

_ “Don’t make you do it?! That boy just walked into our house, and you two clearly know something that I know nothing about.” Harry took a deep breath, and Louis knew it wasn’t going to be good. But he needed to know what happened. _

  
  


_ “Louis M’sorry,” he said, his eyes watering.  _

_ “Goddammit Harry, just fucking tell me already.”  _

  
  


_ Harry took a deep breath, “ ‘member how you left for those two months when your mom had Doris?”  _

  
  


_ Of course Louis remembered, it was the first time him and Harry had ever been away from each other for more than two weeks. Louis nodded his head slowly, “you would call everyday… tell me how much you missed me, right?” _

  
  


_ Harry nodded weakly, “but there was three days when I didn’t call, ya know?” And yes, of course, Louis remembered that too.  _

  
  


_ “God, I don’t know how to do this…” Harry’s hands were pressed tightly against his head, his elbows pressed to his thighs. Louis sat down next to him, and placed a hand on his thigh, “Come on ‘arry. Just tell me, I won’t be mad.” But that was a lie, Louis always struggled to bite his tongue, as well as suppress his anger.  _

  
  


_ “Fine,” Harry said after a minute, “I slept with him.”  _

  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


_ Fuck Louis was mad. No, not mad, seething.  _

_ “What the FUCK harry?” He yelled. Harry wouldn’t even look him in the eye.  _

_ “Lou, please…” _

_ “Please what Harry? Please enlighten me…  fucking tell me what you want,”  _

  
  


_ “It was a mistake Lou, I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. _

_ But Louis wouldn’t have any of it. “I know two months were hard Harry, but they were fucking hard for me too. Do you get that? Do you think I liked being away from you for that long? NO, but I stayed fucking faithful.”  _

  
  


_ “I didn’t think that I’d have to do this…” _

_ “That doesn’t make it any better Harry! You just weren’t going to tell me about it...ever? God, fuck you.”  _

  
  


_ “Lou it doesn’t count, it didn’t mean anything. We.. we were just drunk and I hated sleeping alone, and i thought it would make me feel better. But it didn’t, It didn’t. And do you know why? Because I love you Louis, and you’re the only one I want to be with.”  _

  
  


_ “If you loved me you wouldn’t have cheated.” Louis said, and after a moment, “get out.”  _

_ Harry’s face turned sheet white, as if he might pass out any second . “Wha..what?” _

  
  


_ “You heard me,” Louis said through clenched teeth, “Get the fuck out.” _

  
  


_ Harry knew better than to argue, so he silently got up, his shoulders shaking as he shrugged on his jacket.  _

  
  


_ He took one last look at Louis , as if he’d say, “No, stay,” but Louis was staring at the floor and didn’t look up until the door clicked shut. _

 

_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ “FUCK,” Louis roared, as the sound of his voice echoed throughout the dimly lit house. The rain had stopped and the skies opened, the sunlight streaming in through the hundreds of windows they had. And God, Louis wished he could cover them all up, or smash them all to pieces. Take a hammer to each one, and watch them shatter, just as his heart did. _

  
  


_ He was mad, infuriated, and then a little sad, because nothing hurt more than knowing he wasn't good enough for the one he loved the most. . “I have to get out…” he repeated over and over. Because the house… the house itself was suffocating him, the air too hot to breathe in, his heart hammering in his ears, so so loud... and that... That’s what was going to kill him. _

  
  


_ An hour later, 2 days later, four weeks later and Louis was still drowning in alcohol, his lungs burning as much as the liquor burned his throat. The club was loud and some horrible Calvin Harris remix was being played, the bass distorting any words that could possibly be spoken. All Louis could see was flashing beams of light, the colors blinding him all at once, and then he saw nothing. _

  
  


_ “Louis?” a voice asked, but Louis being too disoriented, couldn’t  make out who it belonged to.  _

_ “Come on Louis, open your eyes, I know you can.”  _

  
  


_ Zayn. That’s who it was. _

_ “What are you doing ‘er?” He mumbled, confused when he opened his eyes, and realized he was on the ground.  _

  
  


_ “Lou, you got totally wasted and passed out… I was the first number they could find… well they tried Harry first but…” But Louis was too tired, and too drunk, and just too much to say anything in response. His eyes were unfocused, as he tried to follow the oriental pattern on the ceiling.  _

  
  


_ “Come on Louis you need to get up..” Zayn insisted.  _

_ “Ok, but... home?” _

  
  


_ “Of course,” Zayn breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Louis getting off the ground. But before he moved, he wavered a bit, and then steadied himself, slurring the words, “Alright, then, let’s go home.” _

  
  


_ But home wasn’t home without Harry. Louis loved zayn, he did, but Zayn couldn’t cuddle him,  _

_ wouldn’t whisper sweet nothings, nor giggle like Harry did when he knew Louis was really drunk. _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ “Here, drink this,” and a cup of coffee was thrust into his hands. Louis took a big sip before cringing. “That stuff is bloody awful, don’t understand how people drink it.” And Zayn laughed, because at least now Louis was speaking in sentences.  _

  
  
  


_ “I was worried about you, Lou,” he said softly.  _

_ “Nah, Zayn you don’t have to worry about ‘ol Louis here, I’m fine, really,” But he wasn’t and Zayn knew he wasn’t. _

  
  


_ “Have you talked to him?” He asked cautiously, not knowing how far he could push until Louis kicked him out too.  _

  
  


_ Louis shook his head vigorously, “No way, have you?” And when Zayn struggled to respond he knew the answer. But he couldn’t be mad, they were friends too.  _

  
  


_ “I hope you’re not mad, L. I know he fucked up, he fucked up real big, but God, you love him and he loves you, and he feels like shit.”  _

  
  


_ “Good,” Louis said, because he believed Harry should feel just as bad as he does. Zayn looked at him and shook his head.  _

  
  


_ “Come on Louis, don’t be like this.” And Louis exploded, he could’ve launched himself to mars with the amount of anger that consumed him.  _

  
  


_ “DON’T BE LIKE THIS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How would you feel if you found out Gigi was cheating on you? How would you be able to get over it? To forgive her?  When each time you hear her name or see something that reminds you of her and just think, that bastard slept with someone else. Could you do it Zayn? Because I don’t think you could, so don’t you dare fucking  tell me to NOT ‘be like this’.” _

  
  


_ Exhaustion hit him like a truck. And suddenly he was done. With Harry, with Zayn, with everything, and he just wanted to be alone. “Please, leave,” he said, when he had settled down. Zayn knew he had outstayed his welcome, so he quietly, as Zayn always was, and left.  _

  
  


_ But It seemed as though every time someone left they had to say something to fuck him up even more. “Lou… Harry’s taking this really hard… like really hard. You know how Harry was like before you, don’t you?” And Zayn didn’t need to say anything more because Louis knew exactly what Harry was doing. _

  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ “Come on Harry pick up the phone.” Louis muttered, as the clock to his left blinked 8:30. Harry should be up, he always was. He was probably on a run and Louis hadn’t need to worry, but despite him telling himself over and over that Harry was fine, he couldn’t shake the uneasiness from his head.  _

  
  


_ “Thanks for calling, sorry I couldn’t get to the phone, please…” Harry’s 17 year old voice overwhelmingly flooded out of the speakers, and that wasn’t even the worst part. “Come on Harry, we’re about to leave,” Louis could be heard saying in the background.  _

  
  


_ Louis’ heart ached at the realization that 1. Harry hadn’t changed his voice message in 4 years, and 2. That was the day they had their first kiss. Louis could remember it so clearly, but he didn’t want to reminisce on it now. No, he couldn’t think of how much things had changed, and how everything could so quickly become fucked up.  _

  
  


_ It wasn’t fair, he deserved better, and so did Harry.  _

  
  


_ “...leave a message at the beep.” Harry finished. And fucking Harry, Louis could hear the smile in his voice. He could see Harry’s smile reaching his eyes, the dimples etched into his cheeks, carved by God himself.  _

  
  


_ Louis could cry, but he didn’t have time, he had more important things to do.  _

_ “Harry please call me...Wait no fuck it, I’m coming over,” and Louis hung up.  _

  
  


_ “You know how Harry was like before you don’t you?” Zayn had said, and Louis did, he didn’t want to know but he did. But then again, would anyone want to know that a beautiful 16 year old was hurting himself because of what other people said about him? Because he wished he ‘could be someone who didn’t care what other people thought’?  _

  
  


_ Because if Louis knew who was doing it to Harry he would probably be in jail right now. _

  
  


_ And Louis knew he should have handled the situation better. Harry was the gentlest human being, with the biggest heart and Louis was lucky enough to always have him. But Louis has learned that always isn’t forever.  _

  
  


_ Louis could always depend on Harry when he was having a bad day.  _

_ Louis could always depend on Harry to cheer him on during his football games. _

_ Louis could always depend on Harry to be the one person who stayed, even when Louis pushed everyone else away.  _

  
  


_ But this time Louis had pushed Harry too far. _

  
  


_ Louis assumed Harry moved back into his old apartment, and thankfully (or not so thankfully) he was right.  _

  
  


_ “Harry?” he whispered into the room.  “Dammit Harry you shouldn’t just leave the door unlocked.” Harry was never a big drinker, but Louis had to guess that things change. Harry’s counter was littered with 35 bottles: vodka, whiskey, brandy, all trashed around the room, which was extremely unlike him. And that scared the shit out of Louis. _

  
  


_ “Harry, come on where are you?”  Louis started to panic, but he heard the running of water in the back room. He heard the slight inhumane sounds of someone whimpering.  _

  
  
  


_ “H...Harry?” Louis pushed the door open to reveal Harry hurled over the toilet, with a half drunk  _

_ bottle of Vodka in his hands. But that wasn’t the worst part, not at all. Harry’s wrists were painted with harsh red gashes standing out against his porcelain white skin.  _

  
  
  


_ “Louis?” he stuttered, “..what.. What are you doing here?”  _

_ And Louis wish he could’ve said something, but any words he wanted to say were caught in his throat.  _

  
  


_ But as it’s been said, actions speak louder than words.  _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


_ As Harry slept he let out little shudders of breaths, and it took Louis back to the time he witnessed Harry’s first panic attack. It was the most horrifying experience of Louis’ life. _

  
  


_ It was right after their first performance on the X Factor. The boys were so excited, they had just gotten great reviews from the judges and the crowd loved them. But Harry, Harry had slipped away while the boys were out celebrating. Louis had found him sobbing in his room, his phone tossed to the opposite side.  _

  
  


_ “H..Are you okay?”  _

_ And Harry, poor sixteen year old Harry, just pointed to his phone, inviting Louis to take a look.  _

_ At first Louis couldn’t see the matter with any of the messages most of them just:  _

_ “You boys rock!” _

_ “So talented!”  _

_ “I’m definitely voting for you!”  _

  
  


_ But as Louis kept scrolling he realized why Harry was so distraught.  _

  
  


_ “What’s up with the curly haired one? He doesn’t belong in the group.”  _

_ “Harry is the worst in the group.”  _

_ “How did he even make it on the show?”  _

_  
  
_

_ And Louis’ heart broke for him. No sixteen year old should have to read stuff like that. Sure, everyone faced bullies but it always seemed to be one hundred times worse when people who don’t even know you say things like that.  _

  
  


_ “H, come on, don’t read this, they’re unimportant anyway,” But nothing Louis could say or do convinced Harry that it wasn’t true.  _

  
  


_ The next day at rehearsal Harry refused to sing any of the solos, giving them to Liam or Zayn. And right before they went on to perform Harry stopped dead, and straight out said, “I can’t do this.”  _

  
  


_ Louis of course, tried to comfort him, “Come on H, you can do it,” trying to coax him. But Harry wasn’t having any of it. “No….Fuck, you guys don’t get it.” And the other boys, they tried, they really did, but the more they tried, the worse it got.  _

  
  


_ “Just fucking stop,” Harry screamed.  _

  
  


_ “I can’t do it, okay? You guys don’t understand. How the hell am I supposed to get back on stage when so many people tell me I suck? They’re right you know... I am the worst of the group. I shouldn’t have been put in with you, I’m just ruining your chances, and… and I’m sorry.” His breathing got quicker, heavier.  _

  
  


_ Louis tried to reach to him, but he whipped away, screeching: “Don’t fucking touch me. Just go, Okay? I don’t want to be the one holding you back.” _

  
  


_ “H…” Niall started.  _

  
  


_ “JUST. FUCKING. GO,” He said one final time, and the boys stared at him like some kid who needed sympathy and Harry hated it.  _

  
  


_ “Stop looking at me like that,” He said quietly.  _

_ “Please, just stop, fucking… I can’t handle this. I can’t breathe,” Harry inhaled.  _

_ “I feel like I’m fucking suffocating. You’re suffocating me. I…” and Harry just about reached hysterics.  _

  
  


_ “It’s so fucking hot in here. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,” he started hyperventilating and none of the boys knew what to do.  _

  
  


_ “I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking breathe,” and Harry looked at them with the deepest amount of desperation Louis had ever seen. Louis couldn’t take it, he pulled Harry into his arms, as they fell to the floor.  _

  
  


_ “Don’t touch me,” Harry sobbed, but made no effort to move. _

_ “Don’t fucking touch me…” He continued. _

_ “Don’t…” But harry, he was exhausted and didn’t want to fight it anymore. He just sat there in Louis’ arms, sobbing. _

  
  


_ “Shh... “ Louis murmured into his curls.  _

_ “Just breathe H? Okay? Breathe, you can do it.” He repeatedly kissed Harry’s forehead and cheek and jawline.   _

  
  


_ “Take it easy okay? I, 2, 3.. Breathe… ok H?” and Louis was so fucking scared, because he’d never seen Harry like this.  _

  
  


_ “Right with me. I’m not giving up on you, curly.”  _

  
  


_ And the more Louis said it, the calmer Harry got. Eventually his breathing turned into quiet little shudders as he nudged himself closer into Louis’ chest.  _

  
  


_ Louis didn’t think he’d ever have to face anything as painful as that night was.  _

_ But he was wrong. _

  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ Louis loved Harry, he did.  _

_ But after everything that had happened it seemed impossible to ever get things back to the way they once were. Despite the doubt both possessed in the back of their heads, they worked to build things up again… just to watch it all fall down. _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


The night Louis found Harry in the bathroom with a bottle of beer, happened two years ago. And within those two years they had managed to go through some of the best moments either of them have ever experienced, but also the worst.

  
  
  


And fuck. If things hadn’t gotten so messed up, maybe it wouldn’t have turned out how it was now. 

 

~ ~ ~

  
  
  


_ The next months of winter consisted of some of the last few good days Louis and Harry could remember.  _

  
  


_ “Lou…” Harry nuzzled into his chest, sending little bites across Louis’ bare chest, the skin flushing white, and then pink, and then a dark red.  _

  
  


_ “You’re so beautiful,” Harry had said in between sucking and biting. “I’m so lucky to have you,” And Louis would just grunt in agreement, because fuck it felt good. _

  
  


_ “Fuck Harry,” But the words barely came out. _

  
  


_ “What was that L?” _

  
  


_ “Nee...need you inside of me,” he moaned. And damn that boy, he smirked. Fucking smirked because he loved to see Louis so needy.  _

  
  


_ “How badly?” he asked, pulling Louis’ Calvin Klein’s down.  _

  
  


_ “So badly, oh my God,” Louis whimpered, “Please.”  _

  
  


_ And that was enough for Harry, as he wet his fingers and stuck two in. Louis squirmed in pleasure, his breathing becoming deeper and heavier.  _

  
  


_ “Harry, I’m going to lose it if you don’t fucking do anything.”  _

  
  


_ “Mmm baby it isn’t going to be that easy, now. Get up I want to see you.” Louis rolled over and straddle Harry, Harry placing his hands on Louis’ hips.  _

  
  


_ Tracing over his stomach, and thighs, and the scar he had from when he was kid.  _

_ “You’re just so pretty Lou, I could watch you all day.”  _

  
  


_ Louis giggled, “Come on Harry.” _

  
  


_ “You’re right Lou, you’ll look so much prettier bouncing up and down, isn’t that right?” _

  
  


_ “Mhmm..” Louis mumbled. _

  
  


_ Louis took the lube from the side table and coated it around harry’s massive length. He hovered a bit over it before launching himself down on it.  _

  
  


_ “Fuck.” they both moaned in unison, soon developing a rhythm. _

 

_ “Fuck you’re so beautiful like this Louis. So, so beautiful, and you don’t even realise how beautiful you are.” Harry groaned.  _

  
  


_ “Jesus christ Harry, you get so sappy when you’re horny.”  _

  
  


_ “I can’t help it…” he laughed.  _

_ “I’m just so lucky.”  _

  
  


_ And he was lucky, so so lucky.  _

_ But Harry felt the most lucky when everything was said and done, forgotten and forgiven and he could just be with the one he loved the most.  _

  
  


_ He wouldn’t take it for granted ever again.  _

  
  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


_ The two boys spent the rest of their winter in a bliss of hot chocolate dates and nights spent by the fire. The crackle and pops, the scent of wood burning were all that consumed Harry and Louis’ senses.  _

  
  


_ The year was almost done, and boy, did they suffer through hell. But somehow they made it through and it was all worth it.. Right? _ _  
  
_

 

_ “Harrry,” Louis whined from the bed. _

  
  


_ “It’s 8 a.m on a Saturday… where are you going?” He yawned, his eyes still shut. _

  
  


_ Harry was glad, because Louis wasn’t able to see the worry written all over his face. “Relax, little one, I’ll be back soon, just going to pick up breakfast.”  _

  
  


_ “Little one…” Louis grumbled, “at least the fans don’t think I look like a frog,” he pouted.  _

 

_ Harry stifled a laugh, Louis wasn’t the most pleasant in the morning.  _

  
  


_ “I love you, be back soon.”  _

  
  


_ “Love you curly.” _

  
  


_ Harry let out a sigh as he closed the bedroom door behind him. He hated lying to Louis, but he knew how he’d react if he told him the truth. Yet, it seemed as though the truth always had a way of getting out.  _

  
  


_ Harry was bundled up in his YSL winter coat, and despite it being $3,750 it didn’t keep him very warm… Tragic.  _

  
  


_ He was walking down Bouverie Street in the heart of London, the wind nipping at his nose. He turned the corner and the sight of his favourite coffee house, Kaffeine, came into view. There weren’t many people out, not yet.  _

  
  


_ But there was someone, and he was unmistakable in his grey beanie.  _

  
  


_ “El…” Harry greeted, “I don’t have much time… have to get back to…” _

_ “To Louis,” Elwood finished.  _

  
  


_ Harry nodded.  _

  
  


_ “Harry,” he said softly, “I’m glad you came.” Harry smiled weakly. He didn’t have any feelings for Elwood, not anymore…. _

  
  


_ “What do you want?” he asked, a bit more pressing.  _

  
  


_ “I miss you, a lot. You were the best I ever had….” Elwood looked down at his scuffed up boots.  _

_ “Fuck Harry, we were supposed to be together… before… before you met Louis.”  _

  
  


_ “El…” Harry mumbled, “There is nothing between us, there can’t be. I’m in love with Louis.”  _

  
  


_ “But Harry,” Elwood looked up with desperation, “I know you can feel it.”  _

_ He leaned in closer to Harry, his lips just brushing against his neck, “can’t you feel it?”  _

  
  


_ And poor Harry had never been more confused in his life, he stepped back so abruptly, that he almost ran into the chair behind them.  “This was a bad idea. I need to go,” he said, pulling the door open to the coffee shop.  _

  
  


_ “Harry, I won’t ever stop loving you,” Elwood said quietly, shaking his head before walking away.  _

  
  


_ “For fucks sake,” Harry muttered.  _

_ “The usual Mr. Styles?” the young girl asked from the counter, her eyebrow raised.  _

  
  


_ “Yes, yes sorry, thank you.”  _

  
  


_ “No need to apologize Harry,” she smiled. A few minutes later she came back from behind the concert.  _

  
  


_ “Here you go, two chocolate croissants, a Caffe Americano with whole milk and a tablespoon of sugar, and for Louis… a caramel macchiato, extra whip.”  _

  
  


_ “Perfect, thanks so much Sophie.”  _

  
  


_ “Anything for you two… say hi to Louis for me!” she said, waving goodbye.  _

  
  
  


_ And Harry found himself in the cold once again, but was so much more confused than he was when he came here.  _

  
  


_ “Can’t you feel it?” he repeated in his head, because yes. He could.  _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


_ “Hey Lou, you’re up early...well earlier than normal.” And he was, pitter pattering around the house on his tip toes.  _

  
  


_ “Morning love,” Louis said, planting a kiss on Harry’s cheek. Harry smiled, despite the feeling of uneasiness making a home in his body.  _

  
  


_ “I have croissants and hot drinks,” Harry set the takeout bag on the counter. _

  
  


_ “Oh but Harry, nothing is as hot as you,” Louis said, wrapping his arms around Harry, his head at the perfect level to leave kisses behind his neck.  _

  
  


_ “Fuck Lou, what has gotten into you?” Harry shuddered at his touch.  _

  
  


_ “I love you, and I want you to know that everyday.” Harry wished he could’ve said something, anything about what had happened earlier. But how could he? Not when Louis was like this, he didn’t want to repeat what happened last time. But… then again it would be so much worse if Elwood somehow decided to come back, so Harry had to tell him. It was a moral obligation.  _

  
  


_ But as for now, “I love you too babe,” was all Harry could say in response, spinning around to plant a kiss on Louis’ head.  _

  
  


_ “Not sure about your fringe L, it’s a bit long,” Harry said, “getting in the way of my kisses.”  _

  
  


_ “Ah come on Styles, I quite like it,” Louis pouted.   _

  
  


_ “And anyways, I don’t complain about your long hair, do I?” He said while running his hands through Harry’s long locks.  _

  
  


_ “No, you don’t love, and I love you for it. But I am chopping it soon.” _

  
  


_ “But Harry!” Louis gasped, “you can’t ! The fans’ll go crazy! My hair will be longer than yours now….”  Harry laughed at how Louis imitated the fans.  _

  
  


_ “Well…” he mused, “maybe I should just cut mine off with you. After all, I did grow my hair out until you were comfortable with yours, you big baby,” Louis jabbed.  _

  
  


_ “Big baby, my ass,” Harry chuckled, sweeping Louis off the ground and tossing him over his shoulder.  _

  
  


_ “Harryy,” Louis whined, “put me down!” _

  
  


_ But Harry’s only response was: “now who’s being a baby?” While setting him on the bed. _

_ Louis immediately pulled Harry on top of him, but Harry retracted back.  _

  
  


_ “Lou…” he said, “I’ve got something to tell you. Because I don’t want to keep this from you.”  _

_ Louis, concerned, sat up, “What is it?” _

  
  


_ “I met up with El… Elwood…” he said quietly. Louis, taking a second to process, stared at him in shock.  _

  
  


_ “You met up with your ex? Like can you even call him that? All you two did was fuck, and then you got to come home to me.” Louis said angrily.  _

  
  


_ “Louis, don’t be mad,” Harry said unruffled. “When I say it didn’t mean anything it really didn’t. It was more like closure. Whether he still has feelings for me or not,” Harry chose to not tell Louis about Elwood confessing his love for him, “I don’t have any for him… none.”  _

  
  


_ Louis sighed, “promise?”  _

_ “Yes Lou, I promise.”  _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  
  


_ But that promise went to shit two months later, one month before the boy’s hiatus was over.  _

_ Harry’s mother had gone into cardiac arrest, and pronounced dead just a few hours later. Though Louis tried to be with Harry, he was stuck in LA with Simon on business.  _

  
  


_ Harry was a mess, a mess that was drowning and no one was there to save him. He kept falling deeper into the blackness, any sounds a distorted buzzing noise, a nuisance. But one day, at the last second before Harry drowned himself completely, a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up to shore. Harry’s head no longer underwater, searching for the face of the person who saved him.  _

  
  


_ Elwood  _

  
  


_ “Harry, I’m here, I got you.”  _

  
  


_ And so Harry found comfort with the last person he thought he would find it with.  _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


_ “Harry what the fuck? I come home to see you, to make sure you’re okay. I left my JOB early and you have another man, in OUR house. And Elwood nonetheless… you fucking PROMISED, that I didn’t need to worry about this.” _

  
  


_ Harry didn’t even try to reason with Louis. He and Elwood hadn’t even done anything, actually nothing but sleep in the same bed. So he hated this as much as Louis did, but he was angry too. _

  
  


_ “Maybe LOUIS if you picked up the DAMN phone just for TEN minutes so I could hear your voice,” Harry stifled a sob, “to hear the one person’s voice I needed the MOST, i wouldn’t have had to find someone who would be there instead of you. IT was ALWAYS YOU Louis, until you became unreachable, untouchable, and that, that was fucking unbearable. I NEEDED you Lou, and you weren’t here for me. WHAT THE HELL was I supposed to do? You left me drowning...I feel like I’m fucking suffocating when I’m near you. You used to be everything, YOU were the one who helped me to breathe but now... “  _

  
  


_ “Harry I had a FUCKING job to do, don’t you unders-” _

  
  


_ “I don’t understand Louis, because my mom is dead, gone, do YOU UNDERSTAND? She was like a mother to you too, she loved you and you couldn’t even show for the fucking funeral. I don’t give a shit about your job, if your job is more important than me, then maybe there’s nothing left for us.” _

  
  


_ “Do you really think that…” Louis asked softly, pain held captive in his eyes.  _

  
  


_ The fight was dying from Harry but nothing could change what he said. There was so much truth in his words, and though Harry wanted Louis, he loved Louis, he just couldn’t do it anymore. _

  
  


_ “Why the fuck are we even fighting…” Harry sighed, _

_ “when there’s nothing left to fight for?”  _

  
  


_ ~ ~ ~ _

  
  


With the boys back from break, things were… awkward to say the least, and as much as the other boys tried, they’d never be the same. But Harry and Louis, for the sake of the fans and the band, stayed civil, even continuing to live together.  And that’s where their story continues… 

  
  


“Jesus Louis, calm down a bit,” Harry said while Louis was swearing up a storm. And there was nothing,  _ nothing _ worse than telling an angry person to calm down. 

  
  


“Calm down? Calm down? Harry…” And off went Louis. He held so much rage for such a small person. 

  
  


“Lou...Louis,” Harry corrected, “Just sit down… can’t we talk?” It had been months since they’d actually talked, Louis was a ticking time bomb and anytime Harry tried to talk to him he exploded. 

  
  


Louis stared at him in bewilderment. Harry had been over the whole thing a while ago, he had forgiven Louis, yet Louis couldn’t forgive him… no, he was more mad at something he  _ thought  _ had happened, than when Harry actually cheated. For a second Harry thought Louis was just going to curse at him some more, until he sat down across from him. 

  
  


Louis placed both hands on his head. “What’re we doing Styles?” “What am I doing?” he asked more quietly than the first question. 

  
  


“Louis I never got to explain what actually happened…” 

Louis didn’t look up, “then explain, please.” 

“Louis, you’re going to find this hard to believe, but I didn’t cheat on you, not in the way you think I did…” 

  
  


“So you didn’t sleep..?”

“No not  _ sleep with him _ , but literally just slept...in the same bed. Still that’s not an excuse,  I just needed someone, I needed  _ you.  _ But when you weren’t there I had to find someone to replace you.” Harry laughed bitterly, “but hell, no one can replace you, Lou.” 

  
  


“And I don’t expect this to change anything, I just can’t live with the thought of you hating me.” 

“But Harry, why wouldn’t you just tell me…” 

  
  


“Louis,” Harry laughed, “you’re not always the easiest to reason with, you know? And I know I waited a long time to tell you, I know. And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, and everything I will do in the future. But Jesus Christ Louis, can’t you at least look at me?” 

  
  


Louis still had his hands covering his face. 

  
  


“Come on Lou, please” Harry said, taking a hold of Louis’ hand, pulling it down, and then doing the same with the other. He reached up with his own placing it gently under Louis’ chin, lifting up until they were level with each other. Green stared into blue, blue stared into green. Each searching for something,  _ anything _ . 

  
  


Louis’ entire facade began to shatter, his lips started to shake, tears threatened to spill everywhere. “Lou…” Harry whispered, cupping his face with his hands. 

  
  


Abruptly, just as it started to fall, the walls came up again, “Nothing you can do or say will make me forgive you, let alone love you again.” Louis stormed out of the room, as Harry murmured an  _ I love you  _ that did nothing but echo through the empty house. 

  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  


Louis arrived at the studio two weeks later with a new boy in tow. 

“Morning lads,” Louis said cheerfully. The boys stared at him in a state of confusion. Harry, had not arrived yet, but the three other boys shared glances with each other until Liam finally asked, “Who’s your friend?” 

  
  


“Oh, how rude of me, I’m sorry, this is my boyfriend, Quinn Elliston. We met at the footy match two weeks ago,” Quinn smiled down at Louis. “Louis’ quite the charmer,” he added smirking. 

  
  


The boys stood in a shocked silence before, once again, Liam broke it by coughing and saying, “it’s nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll see you around soon,” while shaking his hand. The other’s, following his lead, did the same. 

  
  


“Hey, I’ve got to get going Lou,” Niall rose his eyebrows at that, only Harry called Louis Lou. “Alright, I’ll see you,” Louis responded, giving Quinn a quick kiss on the cheek. There was a quiet  _ ahem _ in the background and there stood Harry. 

  
  


It looked like his heart had fallen out of his ass. 

He recovered quickly, however, stepping forward, “I… I uh I’m Harry,” he said reaching out to shake Quinn’s hand. 

  
  


“Oh, so you’re Harry,” he said, cocking his head, giving Harry the one up just as Elwood had down to Louis, “yeah, it’s good to meet you. Sorry I can’t stay any longer, I have a charity match to attend to.” And with that, he gave Louis a quick peck on the cheek, and left, leaving behind the scent of sweat and grass. 

  
  


“Well, he seems... nice,” Zayn said after a bit. 

“Yeah, I really like him,” Louis smiled as Harry shifted uncomfortably. 

  
  


All throughout recording there seemed to be a cloud of anxiety and discomfort that fell  upon the boys. Even the producers noticed and begged the boys to take a half hour, even an hour break because it was that bad. The boys dispersed leaving, Liam and Harry together, Zayn off to his room and Niall off to get food. 

  
  


Louis had just finished using the restroom, stopping to hear Harry and Liam’s conversation.

  
  


“Liam, I thought I could do this, but I don’t think I can.”

“Come on Harry, you have to… for the fans. This is our last album anyways and we still haven’t decided if we’re touring our not. But we need to finish recordings, and then whatever shit you and Louis have you can sort it out afterwards… Hell you two don’t even have to see each other anymore if that’s what you want.” 

  
  


Louis felt the guilt build up inside him. He did actually like Quinn a lot, but the only reason  he started dating him was to get back at Harry. But Quinn was no Harry, and now Louis felt like the asshole. 

  
  


Liam and Harry quietly finished the rest of their conversation, before Liam came out to where Louis was. “Louis… can we talk?” he asked.

  
  


Louis nodded, but knew he was about to get a big lecture from the Payno.

  
  


“Please tell me you didn’t do this out of spite?” Liam asked, but Louis didn’t even have to answer for him to know. “God Louis, that’s really low, even for you….” he trailed off, seeing how Louis would take that. 

  
  


But Louis wasn’t going to get mad, Liam was right, “I know, I know. But Liam, you just don’t understand what I went through.” 

  
  


“No, I don’t, but it happened 6 months ago, and if I recall that boy had his mother  _ die _ . So I may not understand what  _ you’re _ going through, but despite what you think, nothing is worse than losing someone you love.” 

 

“But that’s where you’re wrong Liam, that’s where you’re not understanding… I lost someone I loved 6 months ago too.” 

  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  


Recording finished 2 months later. The boys decided it was for the best  if they didn’t start touring right away, and would take another 4 month mini break. Louis was still with Quinn and Harry himself had found someone, Erik, a friend through acquaintances. Though both were still living with each other, things didn’t get weird, in fact, it seems as though both boys had gotten over their differences and were.... Almost friends again. 

  
  


One night Harry was so excited to tell someone about the date he had just had, and when turning to talk to Louis, his face fell at the fact that it just wasn’t  _ right _ to share stuff like this with your ex. So Harry kept it to himself, the memories of the night keeping him warm, even with the absence of the body that once slept next to him. 

  
  


“Hey, Harry?” Louis came into his room the next morning, cautiously. 

“Yeah, Lou?” 

“Um well, I was wondering if you were coming home tonight? I was going to see if Quinn…” 

“Would stay over?” Harry finished. “Yeah, I’ll make myself scarce, maybe I’ll surprise Erik…” he yawned. 

  
  


“Thanks H,” Louis said sincerely, and it seemed like ages since he’d called Harry that. 

“Not a problem Louis, you’d do the same for me.” 

  
  


Now that Harry was up,  showered, had eaten and talked himself into surprising Erik, he needed to get going. 

  
  


It was about five when he finally left the house, Louis already out for dinner with Quinn. He battled with himself if he should text Erik or not, because then, what would the surprise be? But if hadn’t been planning on surprising Erik, Erik certainly was planning on surprising Harry. 

  
  


Before Harry was even within 15 feet of Erik’s apartment, Harry could already hear the loud rock music being played. Harry had to smile at the sound of Jon Bon Jovi’s voice. That was the first concert they went to together. 10 feet to Erik’s apartment, Harry could hear Erik’s own voice above the music. 5 feet to Erik’s apartment Harry realised he wasn’t singing, but talking to someone else…. Laughing with someone else. 

  
  


1 foot to Erik’s apartment and Harry knocked on the door “Coming..!” Erik called, and Harry could hear him moving around, turning down the music.

  
  


“Hello? OH, Harry,” he said in surprise. “What… what are you doing here…?” 

“Oh well, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought I’d….” 

  
  


“Hey love, who’s at the door?” A man came around the corner half naked. 

“Oh!” Harry exclaimed. 

  
  


“Harry I can explain,” Erik stuttered. 

“I don’t think you can, Erik… I’m just going to go now… Um you two have uuhhh. I don’t...goodbye Erik.” Harry said sullenly. 

  
  


He turned to walk away and Erik didn’t even try to make him stay. 

“Shit shit shit,” Harry screamed. “God this wasn’t supposed to happen… this wasn’t… fuck, I need to go home.” But then Harry remembered that Louis was with Quinn. 

  
  


“Fuck it,” Harry thought, “I have nowhere else to go.”

  
  


The house was dark, with the exception of the one lit light in the living room.

The door creaked open… “Harry is that you?” Louis called, coming around the corner.

  
  


“Harry what’s wrong?” Louis asked after taking one look at him. “Harry come on, what’s wrong?” But Harry couldn’t say anything, and the tears just kept coming. 

  
  


“Hazza, come here…” Louis said softly, pulling him in, and though Harry was bigger he’d always preferred it, always preferred to be the little spoon.

  
  


“Where’s… where’s Quinn?” Harry managed to ask between hiccups.

 

“He had to leave after dinner,” Louis responded, his mouth directly placed next to Harry’s neck. 

  
  


“What happened H, please tell me… I wasn’t here for you last time… but i’m here, I’m here for you now.  _ Let  _ me be here for you.” 

  
  


“Erik’s been chea… cheating,” he finally spat out. Harry could feel Louis’ body tighten against his, and Harry shouldn’t have gone home, should’ve went to one of the other boy’s. It wasn’t fair for him to talk about this to Louis. It wasn’t fair that he was finding comfort in Louis. It just wasn’t  _ fucking _ fair. 

  
  


Harry pulled back from Louis, “I’m so sorry Lou, I shouldn’t even be standing in front of you, this isn’t right. I’m just gonna go…. I’m so sorry.” And as Harry started walking out the front door, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, and pulled him back in, cupping his face, leaning down to kiss him. At first it was slow and soft, but the desperation kicked in for both of them and then hands were on body, lips on lips, lips on body.  _ Hands everywhere. _

  
  


“What about Quinn?” Harry said in a short breath.

“It’s always been you, curly, it’s always been you.” 

  
  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  


“Did we just…” Harry sighed softly, as the morning sun began to rise.

“We did…” Louis responded, chuckling. 

  
  


“We are all sorts of fucked up, aren’t we Styles?” and Harry turned to see the blue eyes next to him, those blue eyes he had missed so much. 

  
  


“That we are Tomlinson, that we are…”  

  
  


“Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep fucking each other up… I just,” Harry sighed.

 

“Maybe it’s good for us. This way we know that despite all the times we fuck up, which is plenty, there’s still no one else that we would rather be with. That despite our challenges and differences we kind of, like, belong together. You know what I mean?” Louis asked, and Harry laughed. 

  
  


“I’m being serious H, there’s just something that keeps us coming back together, and I know I’m  _ very _ good looking,” he winked, “but there’s more to it.” Harry nodded. 

  
  


“Since you’ve already jumped straight into the deep end,” Harry responded, “I just need to know, what was it like when you found out I cheated… I,” Harry stopped. 

  
  


Louis froze up and let out a long sigh, “Do you want to know, really?” Harry hesitated, but nodded, “one hundred percent, be completely honest.” 

  
  


“It fucking sucked, it felt like I was being repeatedly punched in the gut. And I knew it was true, that you had cheated, and what I was feeling was true, but at the same time some part of me thought,  _ this can’t be real… he didn’t actually cheat _ . And i so desperately wanted that to be the case, that it was just some big joke. But as I looked into your eyes, it confirmed what I had already assumed. I was angry, really fucking angry at you, Styles,” Louis chuckled darkly, “you wouldn’t believe it. And I was angry at the world, I drank all the time… and i wasn’t the only one,” he said, glancing at Harry. “And then the second time it happened, but didn’t, it may have been even worse. Because I didn’t feel anything, I was already numb, I wasn’t hurt, not mentally. I’d been through it already, and I just  _ didn’t feel anything _ . So what do you think is worse, H? Feeling the pain or being numb because you’ve already been through it and nothing feels quite as bad as the first time…” 

  
  


Harry sat silently, deep in thought, before responding, “second time, because at least the first time you could hold on to some part that they’d change, that it wouldn’t happen again. But after the second time, how could you be sure there wouldn’t be a third? Or a fourth?”

  
  


“Bingo, Styles. How do we know? Seems to be the question of the day…” 

  
  


“Lou,” Harry looked up in shock, “I wouldn’t…. Not again, not ever.” 

Louis smiled, “I know curly… I know,” and he kissed Harry on the top of his head. 

  
  


“God Lou, I love you so much. Nobody’s ever made me feel the way I do like you do. You feel like home. Like home when it’s a rainy day outside, and you sit inside with a million blankets, the fire is going, and it’s just so warm. And despite the shit that happens outside, it doesn’t matter, because  _ you’re home. _ ” 

  
  


“I love you H,” Louis bent down, his lips on Harry’s, with the words he spoke inking themselves forever on Harry. 

 

And things were good in this moment. 

  
  


~ ~ ~

  
  


“I’ll be home in an hour,” Harry had said to Louis. It was the first time they’d be seeing each other in four weeks. Harry had called  _ everyday _ , and Louis was always ready at 10 o’clock sharp. 

  
  


One hour. Louis has to laugh at it now. If they knew how fast things could get fucked up in such a short period of time, he should have known that even when the world gives you an hour, just an inkling out of a person’s life, things could still so badly get messed up. 

  
  


Harry had awoken that morning, smiling, and in the greatest mood. He finally got to go  _ home _ . Kendall had invited Harry to New York Fashion Week, and though he loved Kendall (as a friend), and fashion, four weeks was just so long, especially when half the time was filled from travelling. 

  
  


But Harry knew that he and Louis were going to have the best welcome home sex, and that almost made up for it. His flight left at 2 p.m so Harry spent the morning shopping, because  _ nothing _ compared to shopping in New York. He’d even picked Louis up some new Adidas shoes and clothing, and by “some” probably like half the store. 

  
  


Louis had spent the majority of the day cleaning and cooking. Louis was a God awful cook, but luckily for Harry, he did know how to cook one meal that his mom once taught him. It was chicken, stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham. He even decided to go all out and make it with a side of homemade mash. 

 

Now that that was done, all Louis had to do was wait.

_ One hour. _

 

Louis wasn’t worried, not yet. The clock had just passed 7 p.m. 

It’d been an hour. It must have been his excitement that kept him restless. 

 

7:01….

 

7:10…

 

7:30 Harry would call, Louis assured himself. “He’ll call,” he muttered. 

 

8:00 and now Louis was worried. Not only had Harry not called but he was an hour late. 

 

At 8:15 there was a knock on his door. Louis almost shit himself he was so excited, but then he knew Harry wouldn’t knock. Now he’d shit himself for an entirely different reason.

 

“Louis Tomlinson?” the cop at the door asked. 

 

“ _ Shit. Now I’ll have to bail him out,”  _ Louis thought. 

 

“Yeah, that’s me. What kind of trouble did Harry get himself in?” He asked, still not worried. 

 

The cop stared at Louis, strangely sympathetically. “Oh, nothing like that, I’m afraid.” 

_ I’m afraid? Who says that…. Oh fuck. _

 

“I’m afraid Mr. Styles has gotten into a rather serious car accident.”

 

“How serious?” Louis asked, panicked. 

 

“He’s unresponsive as of now, alive, but it’s not looking good….” The officer trailed off. 

 

“Well where the hell is he?!” Louis screamed. 

 

“London Bridge Hospital, I’ll give you a ride.” 

 

_ Fuck fuck fuck. It was just supposed to be an hour.  _

 

Time was such a funny thing. A person could spend their entire life without any bad luck, accidents, and then in an instant, in a second, a minute, an hour, everything could change.

 

“Room 1618, Mr. Tomlinson,” the nurse told him, and he practically sprinted down the hall. 

 

“Harry!” Louis yelled when he got to the room. “Harry!” he cried out, the tears streaming down his face. 

 

Harry was strapped down, with needles poking him here, and there, and everywhere. His chest was just barely rising, his hands clasped tightly together. 

 

“Is he going to live?” Louis pleaded, “please tell me he’s going to live.” The nurse looked at him with such sorrow, it was like Harry was already dead. 

 

“Miracles happen,” she said simply. 

 

“Hazza, my Harry,” he whispered softly, running his hands through Harry’s long locks.

 

“Come on Harry,” he reached for Harry’s hand, unclasping it so he could hold it with his own. 

 

Something fell out of the hand, landing with a “clang” that echoed through the hollow room.

  
  


A ring.  _ A fucking ring _ . Harry was going to propose. Looking at it closer, the words  _ forever my home _ was etched into it. 

 

“Come on,” Louis sobbed, begging, pleading with God that Harry would open his eyes and he could see the Green that he knew all too well. 

 

“I’m right here, Harry. I’m right with you, I’m not giving up on you curly.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> OK FRIENDS. Just to clear things up there will be another follow up story , probs a bit shorter just to give closure :))   
> Okay thanks for reading .  
> All the love babies 


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